Respect As a Male Currency - Ebele UzoPeters

When you hear wives say "But I respect him nau. What does he mean I don't respect him? He knows I respect him"

No, he does not know; and sorry to add ororo to your white rice; but, you do not respect him.

Respect is a male currency, and love is a female currency; LARGELY. I've read a bit about the five love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch, and gifts. Well, you could take those to be dialects of relationship languages; which are basically TWO.

Husbands, love your wives above every other person in this world. It is your delight, a duty, and a debt. Click to tweet.

Wives, respect your husband above every other person in this world. It is your delight, your duty, and your debt. Click to tweet.

Love a woman the way she wants to be loved, and she will forgive you for anything.

Respect a man the way he wants to be respected, and he will do anything for you.

This is why several men have done the undoable with their secretaries and helps. You see, she always anticipates what he wants, gets him his coffee, etc; but the wife feels that just being his wife should be enough. She says anything at any time, and does not think much about what he wants to be done and the way he wants it done.

Now before you turn on your feminist shenanigans, remember that every woman appreciates it when a man shows her how much he loves her, and many times, to do this, a good man has to go out of his way or do what he won't normally do, to do this.

And I'm not talking expensive gifts. Even the simple stuff like spending time with you looking into your eyes. Are your eyes the Financial Times or the Red Devils? Guy wants to watch soccer or hang out with the boys or think about work stuff or nothing in particular, and there he is, massaging your feet and staring into your eyes.

Forget it lady, that there is a good man.

Likewise, respecting your husband means you will go out of your way to do things every day. It is not really about calling him 'daddy wa' or kneeling. It is in the manner, the tone, the eyes. The Yorubas say "oju l'oro wa". Which means: what is communicated is not just about the words spoken. It's on the face, and in the way you relate, regard, and respond.

The Bible calls it the ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:3). It says it is very precious in the sight of God. I tell you, it is of great price in the heart of solid husbands, far more than physical beauty or eloquence or cooking skills or money; as main assets.

There is nothing like a gracious wife. Inner beauty is unfading. Even ungodly husbands may eventually notice this great ornament

1 Peter 3:1

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands, even those who refuse to accept the Good News. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. They will be won over

I had a lady friend once who would come spend some time with me about once weekly. She was so pleasant and sometimes came bearing something for the belly -specifically, cakes, which she herself made. She would sit on the rugged (as in rug, not as in rough) floor and we would talk about a number of things half the time, and the other half; she would just listen to me. On the whole, it was a mutually satisfying convo. She knew I loved her and wanted the best for her, and I knew she had respect for me.

Now, she was in this steady relationship with this wonderful man to whom she is now married, with children; so one day I asked her how her relationship was going, to which she gave the perfunctory "fine!".

Then I asked her if she really loved him, to which she answered " Yes!". So I asked if she respected him and she said "Of course!!"

But I knew better.

And I had heard a few things. So I specifically asked, "Do you talk with him the way you talk with me?"; " Do you sit down listening to him the way you listen to me" or does his saying one usually bring out two to nine hundred from you?"

She understood.

In fact, she started looking down at the rug, rather than at me. Here was a mighty fine lady who really loved her husband to be more than she loved me, and felt she respected him more than she respected any other man in that category in the whole world, discovering that it wasn't so. She showed me far more respect than her butterflies in the stomach person.

A woman usually feels that if she loves a man, that means she respects him.

It does not mean so ooooooo.

Respect as a male currency is different from respect as a female currency. Go down to bureau de change, with your love capital and change some to respect. You've been doing it since and spending it all on your pastor and your boss at work. Please, the major share is for your husband.

Don't wait for your next anniversary or for the next time he does something nice.

Listen to him sometimes even when you think he is wrong.

Wear what you know he likes and make up as well .....stop tying wrappers up and down, and behaving like a 50-year-old in your 30s! Only to transform into 21 because you are going to work on Monday to work with your CEO.

Make him your no.1 CEO, your no.1 boss, your no.1 oga, your king.

Be a Queen.